they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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