Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
