Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
