Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
