What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
