You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
