don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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