Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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