Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
