So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
