its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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