we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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