May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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