whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
