Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
