Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
