The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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