I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
