from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
