My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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