she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
