you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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