the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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