"it" just moved
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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