I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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