I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
