i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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