And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
