She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
