I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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