I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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