hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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