so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
