In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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