i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
