he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
