I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
