Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
