Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
