Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
