i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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