I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
