yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
and you fell through a lawn chair
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
