all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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