Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
