Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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