There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found a bag of teeth...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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