you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
