I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
