i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
