i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I could make wine with my vomit
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
where does the pee come out of this thing
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize