your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
