God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just pee around me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
