im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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