Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
