That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize