I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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