They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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