she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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