thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
