Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
